Journal Entry: Thu Jan 19, 2012, 8:55 AM
So I figured I should probably update everyone on what's going on in my life, for those actually interested.
I recently enrolled into college for the first time which is something I'm incredibly excited about. I'm going to Miami-Dade Community College which apparently actually has a very good reputation. I'm currently taking some prerequisite classes for the classes I will be taking at the Medical Campus later. I'm studying to be a veterinary technician which I really look forward to doing.
So far, school has been pretty cool. I've met a few new people I look forward to getting to know and I like three out of my four teachers which is good. The last I don't so much dislike personally so much as have issues with his teaching method. Still, I'm sure I'll manage.
If you haven't noticed by now I did indeed get sucked into Homestuck as well. My favorite character is Sollux Captor and I have discovered that personality wise, we are carbon cut outs of each other... I am currently working on putting the finishing touches on my Sollux cosplay as well. I am also working on a Veser Hatch from Hanna is Not a Boy's Name, but that one still needs a little more work.
Lastly, there is some bad news. I got into a rather nasty situation with Dad and I haven't really recovered from that... If you don't want to hear about it, this should be the point you stop reading.
SO! A while back, when vocational rehabilitation gave the green light for paying for my schooling, I told Dad that I would be going to school for free, but I wouldn't be able to get a job until I was done. He seemed very disappointed or put off by the news that I couldn't help him more with the house expenses until after my schooling was done and they get me a job. I will likely be in school for the next four or so years. This really hurt my feelings because I was so proud of myself for choosing to wait and get a much better job that pays more and that I would really enjoy rather than settling for the first job they could get me.
Later once I had registered for school, I discovered how many books I was going to be required to carry with me. I have a bad back so the backpack that I had at the time was not going to cover it. Mom offered me a rolling backpack she had been using for camera equipment and I happily accepted. However, we accidentally forgot it in her trunk. The next day she promised to bring it to me, but that didn't go according to plan...
It turned out, Mimi [my grandmother] had fallen and she has skin like wet paper and so needed stitches. She promised she would bring the pack to me after taking her to the hospital for the stitches, which was perfectly fine by me. Upon returning to the house, she discovers Abuelito [Grandpa] suddenly is so weak he can't walk and he's not talking in this sort of dazed or half asleep state. When he does talk his words were so slurred that they were barely words at all and all he would say was how his sides hurt. Right back to the hospital she went, this time with him. Obviously, now she can't bring the pack to me.
I ask Dad if he would take me and he agreed. On the drive over, he commented how happy he was to be driving me as it's the only time he ever got my full attention. That hurt my feelings a little bit, but at least he was happy to be spending time with me. He then told me how proud he was that I was going to college. This shocked me considering his initial reaction to the news. I expressed this and he told me that he was proud that I was doing anything with my life and that he would be just as proud if I was working at a fast food joint. That hurt me so deeply...
You're telling me that miserably working at a job I'm going to hate for $7.67 an hour would make you just at proud as me going to college for four years so that I could get a job that I will love and get paid $15 to start? How is that equal?! I was so proud of myself for doing this and now it all seems so meaningless... I thought I was doing something great and I know I am, but not it just feels so pointless... I will still try my hardest to do well, but it's so much harder now...
The car ride continued and I was already down and hurt, but he didn't seem to notice. He never does... We get a little lost and so I pull out my GPS to help us. It turns out it took us seven miles out of our way when we were only a few blocks off. He bitched about it the entire time and made me feel worse, like it was somehow my fault it took us the wrong way. I snapped at him for it and he stopped after that.
We finally get there and I tell him we need to find the emergency entrance. We couldn't seem to find it so I tell him we should ask someone. We pull into the visitor's parking and he parks. I point out this isn't where we should be. He says we can walk. Okay, fine, whatever. So we start walking and he asks which way we go. I tell him I don't know as we were supposed to park by the emergency entrance. "That's the second jab you take at me tonight. One more and you can help yourself." He snapped. I don't take kindly to being threatened... "Alright. I'll ask Robert [a good friend] to help me next time." Without missing a beat, he turns on his heel and promptly ditches me at the hospital. In Miami. After dark. I sigh, call Robert to let him know what happened and ask him to come get me. I get my pack from my mother and make it home safe with Robert.
Dad and I avoided each other and didn't talk to each other for eight full days after that. Then Robert accidentally screwed me over. He offhandedly mentioned that I was going to be taking a very long bus ride to the animal shelter to start volunteering for one of my classes. Dad then finally comes back to me and forces his help on me and calls me ungrateful for not thanking him for doing it. I got no sleep at all that night and by morning I was having a mental breakdown. I didn't want to be trapped in his truck with him for an hour each way. I panicked myself into tears as he had already shot down every excuse I had made short of 'I don't want to be near you' which I didn't dare use. Moony was in tears eventually for me as well and so I called Robert over which looked very sorry before I had even said anything to him. I told him that he was the one that slipped and told him and how I felt and told him to tell my dad I didn't want to go with him. He made up a half lie that worked so I went on my own on the three hour bus/metro rail/bus ride each way.
Now my Dad seems to think we're on good terms again... He keeps coming into my room and talking to me... I don't want him here and it's stressing the shit out of me... I'm not sure what I'm going to do...
Anyway, what's it I guess. You're all up to date now I think. Sorry for the long rant... I'll try to keep you guys informed.
Listening to: Fall Out Boy
Watching: Transformers: Prime
Playing: Working on a Homestuck based RPG
Eating: Bacon and Eggs